There is Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself, and Spiders, and Needles, and Mannequins, and...........

I'm with Mark here, I'm content to just sit back and watch this, because I don't wanna get in the way of the stuff of nightmares here.

It's time to put on my serious pants now. My recent blogposts, have been......degrading, to what you may have previously thought of me, and I'm not saying at all, that I'm regretting it, but I'm asking you to follow me here, mostly because, fear is a serious thing to me. I dread it, and I thrive upon it, at the same time.

Fear is the driving force, of my dreams, let me tell you a dream I just had this last night. It seemed to be your standard edition zombie apocalypse, and I found refuge in a large bunker, filled with hundreds of people, and although I was safe from the walking dead outside, I was threatened by the people in the only safe haven. I was attacked one night, and walked away alive, but shaken, by a women who wanted me dead. This dream felt real, not like some dreams, where you seem to register the amount of fantasy, I felt as though, this was the life I was living. Back to explaining the dream, I had one friend in this bunker, and he was in charge of making sure the main bunker door, was sealed extra super tight. I went to visit him, like I was sure that I had done every night. To my horror, I found the bunker door wide open, and night had long since fallen. I recalled, or what I felt like I had recalled, that he had talked about leaving the bunker, but I never thought he would do it. Now, I felt sadness at the abandonment of my friend, but then the realization came over me. This door had been open for hours, I glanced around, a large room lay behind me, blanketed by darkness. My legs began to tremble, Something may have found its way in.

Regrettably, the dream ended moments later. In those moments, that I saw the open bunker door, I felt true, intense fear. I have met many teenagers who think that a zombie apocalypse would be fun, and a great way to avoid having to go to school. I want them all to be in the situation that I was in, in that dream. I had never felt so scared in a long time.

That said, fear is something I love, I spend hours upon hours, playing games designed to instill nightmares for weeks on end. I love every moment of it, that feeling that I get, when the creature I've been so desperately trying to avoid, shows it's face, right in front of me, and I've got seconds to react and run, lest I meet a gruesome fate.

One thing is certain about fear, it's not to be played with, I learned a horrible lesson recently. While I love to get scared and feel that anxiety of an impending pulse-pounding moment, there are many who don't, and I thrust upon a significant somebody, an example of such a creature, that I have this strange fascination with, that I love to be scared by, and she didn't like it. Where I thought that I was just sharing a picture, I scarred a friend, and now I know something to truly be afraid of, I know real fear now. I fear of losing somebody that I care for, due to my mistakes.

In closing here, I'm addicted to fear, and really stupid.

Any Questions?

Alan Wake Reacts #1

You now accurately see, how I am around women.

Okay, This is a stupid, pointless, post. if you want a serious post, about my psyche, scroll up, scroll down, there's usually one around here somewhere. This is a little post for me, to vent my thoughts and impressions on stupid stuff like the ones you see above this.

Now let's begin,

Click on the Title to see more!

You Can't Hurt Me Here, But I can't Reach You Here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time to vent.

It stands as strong as ever, allowing nothing in. No word, no action, no event, nothing. Nothing passes this, it's a wall, a wall in my heart.

She smashes her words against it, with great force, her actions attempting to crush the barrier, but it doesn't waiver, nor crack, nor faulter.

I stand on the other side, cheering her on, I keep yelling, "Don't quit!" as I slam against the immovable wall.

"I created this, It's a creation of my own design." I keep telling myself, feeling guilty of my actions.

I want to let her in, I want to have that feeling of closeness, I want to destroy this wall as bad as she does, but how can I? I made this wall to be indestructible, and it is.

I give up on my efforts, but I can still hear her trying on the other side.

I look at the only thing written upon this wall, "Bang Head Here
                                                                               ->
I'm happy to oblige.

The Post that Kills any and all Respect for Me.

NIGHTAMRES, LANGUAGE, AND MARKIPLIER!

Okay, I don't know. I just don't. I won't expect all my passer-bys to watch the video, because this kind of stuff isn't for everyone, but this guy is talented. This guy is an idol of mine, and you might have noticed I have his youtube channel linked at the bottom of the page.

Honestly, click the video, he's a let's play youtuber that plays alot of horror, which is my very favorite, so if your feeling like you wanna a scare or two, and definitely a laugh, click the video.

This may introduce you to someone you might like, and enjoy watching.

I may have just lost respect from you all for displaying my personal favorite kind of entertainment.

Comments? shoot, or don't. I dun care.

Lovey Dovey Timey Wimey Wibbly Wobbly....

I'm going to talk about love.

Your face right now, it must be priceless.

Honestly though, we had to know this was coming.

In all honesty though, love is no laughing matter, or is it? Is love something to laugh at?

Don't you ask me what love is, because I don't know. I just know what love feels like. Props to Eminem for those lyrics, whether I meant to quote him there or not.

I've felt love before, I've felt love from my family, my friends, even people I've never met before, surely, people going out and dying for our country and it's people are showing love to each soul in that given country? Now the pressing question, the one you most often think of when love is brought up. Have I ever been in love?

Well, I'll answer that question, in a moment. First, I'd like to explain the difference between love and being in love. Love is a more universal thing, you can show love for everyone, and everything. Love can be show for all man , women, and child. Love can be doing something for a total stranger, showing them that you care about them, regardless of them not knowing you. Being in love, is a bit more exclusive. Being in love is something that you feel when you find that special someone.

Example time? Example time. I'm not going to say whether this is showing love or showing me being in love, mostly due to, I don't know for myself. This is a shout-out to a friend, if you're reading this, you'll know who you are. I sacrificed my own sleep, 2 nights of no sleep, for you. It was fun, if not hard, but I don't regret it.

"Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs."

You've probably read this, and I know the feeling here.

So let's talk love, Leave a comment, or not. I don't really care.

Let's Roll

Another year has come and gone. 12 years ago, tragedy struck the US. I shouldn't talk about it, though. You know as well as I do, and I'm sure you all know of flight 93. The plane that was hijacked, and aimed toward the white house. I want to talk about the civilian heroes on that plane.

You all know the story, but you may not know some of the things they said and did. When the plane was hijacked, they all cried and prayed that they could return home safely. When news that 3 other planes had been crashed into the country's most important structures, it became clear, that they would not touch the ground ever again, not while life courses through them.

They came together, total strangers, never having seen each other before, and they became heroes, heroes like no other. They called their loved ones, saying their final goodbyes, and with one last prayer, to their deity of choice, a man of whom's name escapes me, stood up, knowing that he would never see his baby daughter, and his young wife again, and said, "Let's roll."

They stormed the cockpit, fighting back the Al Queda on the plane, and crashed the plane, knowing that their lives meant little, compared to the lives that would have been lost, had they stood idle.

We can never compare to their courage, their bravery.

"Let's roll."

Two words, uttered millions of times in cheesy saturday morning cartoons, never has felt more inspiring. This man knew he was going to die, and he stood strong, rallying his makeshift militia of total strangers, none of them trained or even thought about being in a dangerous situation.

12 years, it's a long time, but I never want anyone to forget that day, the fear we felt, the hopelessness the country experienced, but also the heroism of those people, people as normal as you and I, banded together and became heroes, heroes far beyond the ones we watch on TV shows. I'm a fan of superhero TV shows and the like, but their bravery can't compare to the real courage shown by these people.

No one, ever forget it, never forget that day 12 years ago, and all the people who displayed acts of infinite courage.

What do you remember of 9/11? leave a comment if you want to.

A Trivial post for Trivial Things.

This is the face of awesome. If awesome had a face, this would be it.

As the name of this post implies, this is a really trivial post. I just wanted to shove some generic questions into this post and answer them, so that you all can get to know some of my favorite things. So, bear with me for a bit here.

What is your Favorites?( Favorite colors, bands, movies, etc.)
Band: Demon Hunter (picture is of one of the band members)
Movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Song: Denied-Sonic Syndicate
Video Game: Fallout 3 (this was a HARD question to answer)

What are your future goals?
-I plan to meet someone with whom I'll spend my life with, and hopefully beyond death with.
-I want to pursue a job in video game creation, it's always been my passion, why not a career?
-I plan on traveling to Europe at least once in my life.

What are some of your quirks?
-I'm an Introvert.
-I'm Nerdy as can be.
-I avoid human contact despite the fact I actually enjoy human contact.
-Crown Jewel Quirk: I'm a Brony. (google it)

Wait, Wait, Wait...Your a Brony?!?
-Yes.

You said that picking your favorite video game was hard, are you a gamer/nerd?
-Oh gods, yes.

Other favorite game titles?
-to name a few: Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, Elder Scrolls(all of them), Halo:Reach(not too big on the others after it), Legend of Zelda.

Oh wow, your nerdy and weirder than I thought you were.
-That's not a question.

Why so serious?
-I don't know, I can come off as extremely serious in my posts, and I made this post with the intention of showing that I can be a little humorous, a little easy-going. I will write about some serious stuff, but I don't want this blog to me, talking about doom, and gloom, and the pits of insanity ALL the time. I'm definitely in the pits of insanity, but I don't always want to talk about it.

There you are, now leave a comment making fun of me, for whatever reason, or if you're feeling nice, and maybe a little bored, leave a question and I'll answer it....most likely.

A Total Title Drop

I want everyone to stop and give this image a good look. For some of you, you may smile, and say, "I remember...", some of you will look at this, and say, " The long hair show? never saw it, but heard about it." and some of you will say, "I have no idea what I'm looking at."

Well, your staring at my entire childhood. My favorite TV show, and the topic of countless days and countless nights of dreams. This is truly when and where Dreams and Reality meets.

Did you catch that? I use the title of this blog for a reason. I was young, I believed that screaming as loud as I could would bring me to accomplish what the heroes of this show would. Many of my fellow human beings dreamed of wearing a cape, flying the sky just as Superman would, but I dreamed of my hair turning yellow and standing on end. I won't deny it, the thought still crosses my mind, never with such the plausibility that it once did, just a passing thought of, "I wish I could..."/

I used to run around my backyard, pretending to bash apart the evil guys that threatened the fate of the world, I would scream and pretend to charge my most powerful laser, and I'd scream out those familiar words all too many times, "Ka....me...ha...me...HA!". I would always scream out the last syllable, as loud as I could, it would make my neighbors look at out me, it would make my dad look at me, thinking I yelled because I fell and hurt myself. I didn't care then, I liked the audience. They were there to watch me vanquish the most powerful enemy in the universe.

What is your favorite TV show? What did you pretend you were when you were young? Leave a comment.

It's an ocean.

"It's not a lake, It's an ocean."
-Alan Wake

I open with that quote from the end of the game, for a reason. Alan is floating in a lake, fueled by nightmares, and in his insanity, he utters those words.

I too, float in an ocean of nightmares, but I'm not unlike anyone else, we all dream, and we all see our fears in our dreams, it's something we share, across all nations, races, and religions, we all dream. It's the most human thing we can do.

Strange to think, that we all are most alike, when we aren't even conscious.

I won't pretend to understand all peoples dreams, but I'd like to talk about my dreams.

I had a dream rather recently, that sticks with me. I watched a little girl die at my feet, and I knew that I loved this girl, but I didn't know why. I knew that she didn't die because of me, but that I could have stopped it. I cried, and awoke in tears, despite not knowing who she was.

Dreaming is humane, we all do it, it's common behavior of our race, but why is it, that I cry over the death of someone I don't know? Is it perhaps due to the bonds we shared as fellow humans, and that, in my state of dreaming, I cared for this girl, simply due to our ties of humanity? Under all our skins, black and white, of the western hemisphere, or of the middle east, do we all want to be at peace, to share those bonds of humanity with each other?

What makes you feel human? Any interesting dreams? I'm always willing to listen to others dreams, it gives you a cryptic sense of a person's true personality. Leave a comment!

Departure

For those of you who understand who Alan Wake is, give me a second, and for those that don't know, I'll explain.

I don't pretend to be Alan Wake, I only use his name due to his style of writing, a type of writing I'm intrigued with, psychological horror. I find his style interesting, and I choose to represent him.

For those that don't know Alan Wake, he is a fictional writer, from the game that shares his name. He is a psychological writer, and has been very successful in his career. The game features this man fighting against his own evil creations that were given life. The story is as intriguing, as the gameplay is fun.

I won't guarantee that I will represent this fictional man to a T, but you may see the similarities, all while spotting the differences in me as compared to him.

I look forward to speaking my mind here, the mind of an insomniac, the mind of an introvert, and the mind of a madman.